It started with a general feeling of malaise.
I had company for dinner and a Bible study. I couldn’t concentrate. I kept feeling worse.
By the time I pulled back my covers, and crawled into bed, I was shivering.
I ended up in bed, sick with a fever all weekend.
On Saturday, I was so miserable all I could do was sleep, read and sleep.
By Sunday, I was feeling better, but not up to doing all the duties that normally fall on my shoulders. I stayed in bed, to recover.
Soon I found a great show on Netflix, and began watching episode after episode. So nice, no commercials.
A decent show, no: murder, bad language, illicit scenes. Certainly a nice way to pass the time along as I recuperated.
But I kept feeling a nagging…
A tug…shouldn’t I take some time to pray?
I have all this time, I could read God’s word, memorize it, blog, journal.
Wish I could say I made the right choice…I didn’t.
I haven’t lately…
In fact, I haven’t blogged recently because I have been discouraged. I have made so many bad choices lately with my time, words, priorities, family that I wonder, “Who am I? What do I have to share with anyone?”
Just know that I am not on a pedestal. I am struggling with hormones, wrongs, stress, teenage kids, past hurts and uncertainties. I fight against the urge to just give up. But I read this the other day on Ann Voskamp’s blog,
The fight for joy is worth it!
So I get up, seek God’s mercy yet again.
Put on His glasses and begin to cherish the beauty around me.
I hug my kids more tightly.
I see my husband’s kindness and love.
I see my blessings not my sins.
I choose….choose to look around me through the lenses of HIS love, not my smudge, HIS mercy, not my bitterness, HIS beauty, not my sin.
The power of FORGIVENESS
The power of CHOICE